Hello Guest
Welcome to the PostpartumMen online forum. This is the first and only online community for men with concerns about depression, anxiety or other mood disruptions after the birth of a child. We hope this is a comfortable place for you to find information and get support from other dads to help in your recovery. Please be aware that PostpartumMen reserves the right to delete any post that we believe is inflammatory, derogatory or hurtful. We want the men who post here to know they’re safe from judgement when revealing their very private concerns. I will try to visit the forum as much as possible. However, this forum is primarily intended to serve as an online community of self-help and mutual support. If you have a concern about a posting, email me at DrWill@SadDaddy.com. Please understand that I am unable to respond to individual emails regarding mental health concerns.

Welcome Fathers
« on: August 16, 2020, 06:27:14 AM »
Hello everyone.  I wanted to post a welcome to each of you as you come to this site.  Even though the site is quiet now, it was such a huge help to me when I became a father back in 2008 and I hope it picks up.  Let me tell you briefly about my story.  Some of you may feel it's a story you can relate to.  Regardless, if you are here because you are a father and having challenges being a new father then I would post here and get support.

Here's my story... I was so excited to be a father.  We knew we were having a boy and the thoughts of all the things we would do together throughout our lives excited me.  I was a very involved father-to-be.  My son was born and it was an amazing time.  I was very involved at the hospital and the first 2 weeks at home (I took 2 weeks off from work).  Like almost every parent, I was getting no sleep and walking around like a zombie. 

We had a celebration about 2 weeks after my son was born with friends and family.  As everyone was leaving (especially my friends who came in from out of town) all of a sudden, I felt a huge sense of being left behind..I wanted to go with them to "escape" and I thought the specific situation I was in (the lack of sleep, lack of being able to do things, not working, etc.) would NEVER end.  I felt trapped and a HUGE feeling of anxiety and panic came over me.  For the next few days I was in bad shape.  Very depressed, crying, confused, sad and probably the biggest feeling was guilt.  I couldn't believe I was feeling this way.  I wanted to be a great father and I was feeling like I was failing myself, my son, my wife and others.

After about a week or two I couldn't snap out of it.  I got online and found this website.  I thought...Wow!  There were other men feeling the same as me.  It was a great feeling to know I wasn't alone and it made me feel that I was not a bad father.  It motivated me to get some therapy and get prescribed some anti-depressants and anit-anxiety medication.  After about a month I was back to my old self. I continued the theryapy and medication for almost a year to make sure I didn't fall back to those negative thoughts.  Don't get me wrong, being a parent is probably the most difficult job you can do but it's the most rewarding and it's the most important thing you can do. 

If you are not feeling "right", post here and hopefully you can get some needed support.  It takes more of a man to get help and be a better father than it does to just sit back and hope your depression, etc. passes. 

Dr. Courtenay has played a big part in this for me.  Because of him, I have done interviews with many magazines and tv shows in order to reach fathers that may be struggling.  I have heard back from some folks saying how much they appreciated me talking about it and how it helped them get help.

All the best in being a father.  It is an amazing ride. 

Best,
Rob